So this was not the post I was expecting to be writing so early into my blogging journey but life has handed me lemons, or whatever it is they say so here goes nothing.
My grandad passed away two weeks ago. There, I said it. It has been a really strange two weeks all in all, a lot of time feeling like I'm not really here. You know when you're having conversations and you're doing things but you're really not there, in the moment. Its like someone put me in a bubble and life has just been bouncing off me, never quite getting through.
Lacking motivation would be one way of putting it. Revision has come to a grinding halt, as has the gym to a large degree. Dry January really didn't stand a chance (like it did in the first place) I have well and truly pressed the pause button on life and I'm somewhat reluctant to press play again. The thought of playing catch up and getting back to all the things I know I need to be doing is fairly daunting.
Funnily enough I have toyed for a long time whether I should even blog about it. There's so much debate about bloggers over sharing on social media and it is so true that once it has been said online it really can't be taken back. I suppose if there's something to be gained personally from sharing then why not? I have actually found my new Twitter and social media friends to be absolutely lovely over the past two weeks. People who I only know through being WeightsandWine for a few months.
The funeral yesterday was bloody beautiful. I don't think any of us could have asked for a better send off for the man who for so many years just sat in the corner at family gatherings taking it all in and making us all laugh. I'll miss strategically picking a chair close to his corner just so I could hear those witty remarks.
Now the goodbyes have been said, there's nothing else to do but to crack on in the way he would want. Head down, getting my arse in gear to make him proud. I know he'd think all of this was such a fuss.
I do want to say a massive thank you to everyone who text, called, emailed, poured me a glass of wine (or three) bought flowers, said they were thinking of me and generally just checked in over the last two weeks. It has shown more more than anything that I have a great set of family and friends around me and for that I am truly grateful.
For anybody suffering in a similar way right now, please read this piece of absolute genius in Standard Issue, from @Jo_Caulfield it helped me and inspired me to write this. Thank you Jo.
So Tony, Grandad, goodnight, goodbye
A true gent, a diamond for the night sky