Why Don’t I Look Like That? Expectation vs Reality

Image Credit https://www.alexanderward.com/

For anybody who follows me on social media you’ll know I have been talking a lot about body image and how we all look and talk to ourselves. Since going full time into personal training, I have noticed just how many conversations I have with my clients about body image.

For most of us, it started a long time ago. The way we talk to ourselves it runs deep and started from the first mean comment or thoughtless remark we received about how we look. There are things I can still remember that people have said to me over the years and it just sticks.

Leg's like tree trunks.

Short and stumpy.

Child bearing hips.



Thunder thighs.

It has in its own way formed how I talk to myself as a grown woman in my 30’s.

There is a huge wave of body positivity taking over our social media too. I love it. I am so here for women supporting women and lifting each other up. We have spent too long feeling angry, jealous and threatened by one another. Enough.

Image Credit https://www.alexanderward.com/

Since I started my career in personal training it has forced me to confront a whole heap of demons, I’m not sure I even realised I had. It has shown me where I feel most vulnerable and made me aware of what causes me unhappiness and anxiety when it comes to exercise, fitness and how I look.

I still have a lot of work to do on accepting and loving who I am, inside and out.

All of this got me thinking really, where has all this unrealistic body image come from in the first place?

It seems pretty clear that over the year’s society has created some ever-changing body image goals for us all to strive for. All of which seem to represent a very small minority of the population and have become less achievable for anybody to attain. It has set us all up to fail.

When it comes to my clients and how dissatisfied they are with their bodies I’d say the majority admit they are and in and ideal world, would change something significant about themselves.

When you strip it all back and see that these ideals were created to sell us stuff we don’t need to either attempt to achieve that body image or to make us feel better about ourselves – you see it for what it actually is. Bullsh*t.

With filters and Photoshop we are now i digital an age where nobody can even tell if an image is real or altered anymore. For most of us, we wouldn’t ever dream of posting a photograph without a filter. Nobody wants to see that, right?

We are so far away from our actual reality, we’ve lost sight of how beautiful it can be.

Image Credit https://www.alexanderward.com/

All of this has led me to think that if what is ‘ideal’ isn’t real – what should we focus on instead?

  • Wearing clothes, we like that make us feel comfortable, confident and beautiful.

  • Moving our body in a way that feels good.

  • Allowing ourselves and our bodies to relax and unwind from time to time.

  • Spending time getting to know your body more, for just how it is and what you like about it.

  • Breathing in fresh air, closing your eyes and listening to nature.

  • Tuning in to our bodies, listening to what it wants and needs.

In an overwhelmingly visual world, my advice to you is to start listening and feeling again

You may not be able to trust what you see, but you can trust how you feel

It is time for us all to start feeling good

Image Credit https://www.alexanderward.com/